the individual and sexism and racism

The "individual" is the victim of sexism/racism, which is formulated, however, as being structural, systemic.  The tendency to "blame the victim" means that society blames the victim; but in a situation where two individuals are involved, the male may "take all the blame out of all sense and reason" because he is aware of the existence of systemic inequality which gets articulated at the individual level.

Is to say that the "victim" ought to claim some responsibility to "blame the victim"?  I think that the man and the woman are both victims.  At least, in the individual case I am thinking of, it was so.  

My girlfriend was probably culturally biased to keeping her own voice in check, to being acted on, like a pin-up in a magazine something passive.........I don't understand it.

According to Ebert's review of "House of Sand and Fog," the film gives a 'literary' treatment of its characters to the degree that it does not apportion blame but feels sympathy for them all.  Perhaps it is the 'literary' way of thinking, then, that differs from a systemic way of apportioning guilt and shame.  What is the moral, ethical, or political status of such a 'literary' approach to events?